I held my arms in the air and said "I can't do this anymore..!"
Just yesterday in Walmart as my 5 year old was flailing on the floor I literally felt like I couldn't do this anymore, I stood there like an observer thinking this is just too much!
Our kids are such sponges to our behavior, language, temperament! Was he emulating me, or just trying to tell me that he too has had enough? I'm not sure of the answer, however, just as he saw me on the brink of tears he stood up and his whole demeanor changed.
My (angelic) crew have really been working me hard since before Christmas and trust me, I do know how wonderful it is, I know what this is going to enable me to do for others (well sort of), I know this is for my own growth and expansion, but let me tell you, as exhilarating it is, it is exhausting! With a rise in vibration (and it is highhhh), it's a continual rollercoaster of releasing and absorbing, releasing and absorbing! A never ending loop of realizations of who you are and whether you have learnt the lessons you have been dealt thus far. This past week a lot of memories have been arising about my kids, of times where I did not have the awareness I do now, times where everyday seemed like a battle. In fact, times that mirror the times we are currently going through. Trying to be everything to everyone but feeling like you're failing on all fronts.
It's funny, as Oliver has been getting very frustrated, angry sometimes, feeling unheard being the smallest guy in such a busy house! With his brothers much older and his mum and dad just hoping to keep all the plates spinning. Maybe his flailing on the floor was just him saying "Mum. hear me!" and once I threw my hands in the air he knew he had my attention so we were able to continue. literally as if nothing had happened.
I'm not going to sit here and preach about what you need to do, what the right things are to say or feel. All I know is that we are all in our only little worlds right now trying to make sure our boats don't capsize. What I do know though is this:
We are all doing our best and our best is good enough!
You are not alone!